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You are chatting nicely with someone and wondering: Can I suggest that we meet sometime? Or is it too early? What can I say?
Everyone knows situations like this from their own country and culture. Usually, you intuitively feel when the right moment for an invitation has come. But in another language and culture, people are often unsure because they do not know exactly which expressions fit and when a suggestion is appropriate.
There are different ways you can respond when someone suggests meeting. You can see the most common answers in this YouTube video.
I will also show you a typical mistake that non native speakers often make, and how to say it correctly. Enjoy watching! And dont forget to subscribe to our channel : )
In this article, I will show you when the right time for an invitation is and which expressions sound natural in German.
When is the right time to arrange to meet someone?
In Germany, it is common that when someone suggests meeting, they really mean it. When someone says, “We should meet sometime,” many Germans understand this as a real plan and not just a polite phrase.
That is why it is good to wait for the right moment before suggesting a meeting.
Usually, the wish to meet develops naturally when you notice that the conversation is going well and that you are on the same wavelength. If you get along well, enjoy continuing to talk, and are interested in learning more about each other, that is often the right moment to make a suggestion.
This can already happen during the first longer conversation. But often you only notice it after you have seen each other several times in a group and keep ending up in conversation. At some point, the feeling arises: I would also like to talk calmly with this person sometime.
Sometimes an invitation also comes up very practically when someone has information or experiences that can help you. Then the meeting even has a concrete goal, for example exchanging ideas about a certain topic.
What often does not go over well, however, is suggesting a meeting immediately without a real conversation having developed beforehand. The exchange is essential so that both sides can see whether they feel comfortable with the other person.
💡 Important: If you yourself do not actually feel the desire to meet again, you should not make a suggestion either.
How to suggest a meeting in German
Maybe you know this situation: After a course, after work, or at a party, you keep talking for a while. If you would like to continue or intensify the conversation in a more personal setting and you have the impression that your conversation partner feels similarly, you can suggest another meeting.
Exactly in moments like these, suitable expressions help so that your suggestion sounds friendly and natural.
With the following expressions, you can find out whether the other person is also interested in meeting:
- It is really nice chatting / talking / speaking with you. Would you like to do something together sometime?
A bit more directly:
- If you like, we could do something together sometime.
- Shall we do something together sometime?
- Shall we maybe meet for a coffee sometime?
- Shall we maybe cook together sometime?
If you have already met several times and it is clear that you will meet again and you know pretty well that the other person will agree:
- Let’s cook together sometime!
- Let’s go to the cinema sometime!
- Next Saturday there is the Green Sauce Festival at Hauptwache. Would you like to go there sometime?
Here you often read the little word “mal”. “Mal” is used to formulate a question. It makes the question sound softer and truly native-like.
Expressions you should avoid
There are, of course, also phrases that do not go over well at all. For example, when you simply make a statement about what you are going to do now. As in these examples:
- Now we finish our drinks and then go to another bar.
- Next Saturday we will go to the cinema together.
The problem here is: These are not suggestions. You are deciding what you are going to do, and that has a rather discouraging effect. Therefore, I recommend sticking to these expressions:
- Would you like to…?
- Shall we sometime…?
- If you like, we could sometime… .
What if you do not like what the other person suggests?
It can happen that the other person makes a suggestion and you do not find the idea that great.
And here it is simply helpful to know: Germans like things direct and clear in many situations, including when arranging meetings. After all, there is no point in going, for example, to a bar with someone when you would much rather go for a relaxed walk in the park. In the end, you feel uncomfortable and the mood becomes strange. For example, you could answer like this:
- I am not really interested in … . How about we …?
- Bars are not really my thing, what do you think about going for a walk in the park?
- I once went to a bar and it was somehow too loud for me. Maybe we could go for a walk. What do you think?
How to end a conversation in which you have arranged to meet
If you arrange to meet at the end of a conversation and then say goodbye, these expressions fit:
- Great! Then we will see each other next Saturday at the cinema. See you then!
- Super! Then we will meet on Friday to cook! See you then!
- Nice, I am looking forward to it!
- Great, I am looking forward to next Saturday.
If the meeting takes place on the same day, there are these variants:
- Bis dann!
- Bis nachher!
- Bis später!
- Bis gleich!
What is the difference?
- Bis dann! Here, the appointment can be today, but also further in the future: tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week, next month.
- Bis nachher! Here, the appointment is today, but only in a few hours.
- Bis später! This is like “bis nachher”.
- Bis gleich! Here, the meeting is today, but very soon: in the next minutes or within a maximum of 3 hours.
💡 That does not fit: “See you soon!” is not suitable in this context, because that means you do not have a specific time or date for when you will see each other again.
How to politely decline a meeting
This can also happen: Someone wants to meet you, but you do not want to. Here too, it is always better not to beat around the bush or give vague answers like “yes, maybe”, “we’ll see…”. It is better to say how things really are. Then the situation is also clear for the future.
You could say:
- It is nice of you to ask, but thank you. Here, “but thank you” means “no”.
- It is nice of you to ask, but I feel we are not really on the same wavelength.
It is not necessarily important that you say why, as in the second sentence, but if you have a special reason and feel comfortable sharing it, you can say it like that.
💡 Short note: This situation happens very rarely. So you do not need to worry that you absolutely need a phrase for declining as soon as you meet someone new.
So, have fun arranging to meet!
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